Why should you do anything at all if you don’t feel like having sex? Is that why you have to go to therapy? Perhaps there are good reasons for not wanting to. If you deal with it and then find out that it might be attractive to deal with your desire after all, then the whole thing is under much less pressure.

Most clients who come to us have visited a urologist before their visit to clarify any physical dispositions. That can never hurt. Nevertheless, we observe what most of these urologists then tell the clients: Physically, everything is fine. Then you can take a look: What might be part of your own worries, fears or pressure that you put on yourself. What are old sexual scripts that can be thrown overboard? And there may also be something that is part of the couple dynamic. After all, there are also physical exercises that not every urologist knows about. Because sexual “function” and relaxation go hand in hand.

First of all, it is important to note that there is a difference between fantasies and desires. Fantasies are something you have in your head. The brain produces them automatically without you having to do much. Of course, it also depends on what you feed your head with. However, people can have fantasies without really wanting to realize them themselves.

Desires arise from needs and ideas that you really want to experience – which you at least want to bring to your partner to discuss the possibilities of implementing them (together) or experiencing their fulfillment.

Speak. Asking. Listening. And again from the beginning. Maybe then someone will feel more like having sex. Or someone will have less desire for sex and more desire for something else. Maybe talking before sex?

In many cases, the discovery of an outside relationship is a traumatizing experience, because ideas about reality collapse. In the first moment or in the initial period afterwards, the resumption of intimacy seems unthinkable for some – if intimacy appears to be limited to sexuality. However, intimacy can also mean taking responsibility. And if this is communicated, a new closeness can emerge that may be greater and more authentic than what both parties previously took for granted.

There are clients who come to us with a specific question and who do not need any further clarification at the end of the first session. Sometimes therapies end after just one follow-up appointment if the client is satisfied. As a rule, we only see a few clients more than six to eight times in our practice.

Yes, we have had good experiences with online sessions. You can no longer say (as of 2025) that there are differences in quality between face-to-face and online sessions. For some clients, it is not easy to come to the practice in Berlin-Zehlendorf, and online is then their method of choice. Under certain circumstances, this can also be used for an impulse session (if the practice calendar allows). As the majority of clients now have smartphones, telephone-only conversations are rare, but this also happens over the course of the year.